


Alec's Lie

by pseu_do_nym



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Confusion, First Kiss, Gay, Lies, M/M, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseu_do_nym/pseuds/pseu_do_nym
Summary: What really happened when Alec chose to stay for cocktails in Of Men and Angels?
Alec recalls the events of the evening after his run-in with Isabelle in the ops center.





	

_“Slept at Magnus’s place?”_

_“Didn’t do much sleeping. I was helping treat Luke’s wounds. That’s all.”_

_“Really??”_

_“What?”_

_“Nothing. I believe you.”_

_“Ok. Magnus made cocktails but I’m telling you nothing else happened.”_

_“When you’re ready to talk about whatever you need to talk about, I’m here.”_

_“Hey! I talk to you.”_

_“About everything but your personal life. “_

\- Isabelle  & Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunters, S1E07 _Major Arcana_

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….  
Alec can’t believe he lied to Isabelle. He didn’t just evade; he out-and-out lied. To Isabelle. Over the years, Alec had become good at hiding things about himself from others, but he never lied to Isabelle. He didn’t know why he did it. It just came tumbling out of him. The way she had looked at him. The way she had said, “Slept at Magnus’s place?” with that glint in her eye. What if others heard her? The ops center was full of people. He was convinced as soon as he walked into the Institute that everyone would know. He felt like it was written all over his face. He shouldn’t have indulged her curiosity. He should have just said he was helping treat Luke’s wounds and left it at that, but no – he had to say “…nothing else happened.” A lie. Because something had happened. Something major. Something important. 

Sitting on his bed, Alec put his face in his hands. How could he have let it happen? How could he have let his guard down. He barely knew Magnus Bane. How could he trust him to keep his secret? Alec felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. Damn Jace for asking him. But if he hadn’t gone, both Magnus and Luke may have died. By being there, and offering Magnus his strength, he had saved both of them. He knew in his heart that he had done the right thing. But why did he stay after everyone else had gone home? He had been driven by anger and defiance. His parents wanting him to marry, Isabelle’s pity, Jace’s obsession with Clary. He’d just had enough and wanted to do something for himself. And in that moment, that something had been seeing Magnus Bane. 

The attraction Alec felt towards Magnus made him uncomfortable. He’d felt it the very first time they’d met. And Magnus obviously felt the same way, or at least his ridiculous flirting made it seem so. Nobody had ever flirted with Alec before. It was weird, but flattering. And embarrassing. Mostly because Alec had no idea how to respond to it and because Magnus did it in front of other people. Other people who could never know. People like Jace. So when everyone had left Magnus’s loft and Alec had the opportunity to be alone with the man, he’d taken it. He had no idea what he planned to do about it – he hadn’t thought that far ahead, but he knew he just wanted to be around Magnus without worrying about the impression of others. 

And then had come the cocktails. And the flirting. And Magnus’s confession that Alec had unlocked something in him. And Alec stuttering like an idiot because he had no idea what to say. When his mother had called, he should have taken the excuse to leave. He knew he was treading in dangerous territory. But Magnus had been so convincing, so understanding. Alec felt like he didn’t need to hide who he was around him. And Magnus had looked so…good…nice…attractive…handsome. 

No. No. No. None of these words were right. Alec had found himself staring at the warlock the entire evening. The maroon and gold shirt he had been wearing was sheer with a deep-cut neckline and Alec couldn’t stop checking out his surprisingly toned body. When Magnus spoke to him, Alec’s gaze kept glancing at the man’s lips. He tried so hard not to, but it just kept happening. And Magnus’s eyes, and that hair. Striking. That was the word for Magnus Bane. The man was striking and Alec was awestruck. 

Alec had stayed. And they had talked. Well, Magnus had done most of the talking, while Alec did a lot of listening and nodding, with the occasional smiling and laughing. Clary had left and Luke had fallen asleep. Magnus and Alec had sat on the sofa and enjoyed a second cocktail. Alec had asked Magnus about his book collection, and the warlock had happily shared stories about his original editions and the authors he’d had the pleasure of meeting in the past several hundred years. It wasn’t until he noticed light starting to seep into the large loft windows that Alec checked his phone for the time and realized it was morning. He had abruptly risen from the sofa and announced that he needed to leave. 

As he stretched his arm out to fetch his jacket from the back of the sofa, Magnus had reached over and gently grabbed him by the wrist. The instant Alec felt the touch on his skin, he froze. Magnus had said his name - “Alexander” - and the way it had rolled off his tongue had made Alec’s heart pound in his chest. When Alec turned to look at Magnus, he felt his face blush red. Magnus was standing so close to him; there was only inches between them. Alec had swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to compose himself. Magnus had started speaking, telling Alec he’d had a great night and that he hoped they could do it again sometime. And then he’d said those words. The question Alec should have said no to. 

Sitting on his bed, with his face in his hands, Alec could still hear Magnus’s voice. Barely above a whisper…

“Can I kiss you?”

Alec had nodded, not trusting himself to speak and his eyes locked on the lips that he had been stealing glances at all night long. Magnus had slid his hand from Alec’s wrist up his forearm to his elbow, sending shivers throughout his entire body. He had closed the space between them and before Alec had time to truly process what was happening, their mouths were moving together and Alec was grabbing Magnus by the waist, pulling him closer. Alec could feel Magnus’s hands gliding up and down his arms as their tongues met, exploring each other’s mouths. Magnus had tasted like scotch…and strawberries…which Alec had found surprisingly delicious. Feeling the hem of Magnus’s shirt with his fingers, Alec had slid his hands underneath it and splayed them out on his lower back. His skin had felt so warm and soft under Alec’s rough, callused hands. 

Alec lifted his face from his hands and stared at them. He could still feel the shape of Magnus’s body, the firmness of his muscles. The smoothness of his skin as Alec ran his hands over it, holding him tight and close. 

Magnus had moved his hands from Alec’s arms and wrapped them around his neck. Their bodies, with no space left between them, were perfectly pressed together and Alec had moaned into Magnus’s mouth…Moaned. Alec had moaned because it had felt amazing. Because this kiss, this passionate, amazing kiss, was the first kiss Alec had ever had and it was with a crazy, sexy warlock. A male warlock. A man. Because Alec Lightwood was gay and now Magnus Bane knew. Magnus knew because Alec had kissed him and moaned. 

Alec groaned at the memory. The moan had ended everything. Alec had pulled away, embarrassed and flustered. Magnus looked disappointed, like he hadn’t wanted the kiss to end. His pupils were dilated, his lips were red and swollen and wet with saliva. They were both breathing heavily. Alec began mumbling something that just came out as a bunch of words as he finally grabbed his jacket and threw it on. Magnus had said nothing. They stood staring at each for a few seconds before Alec finally blurted out that he had to go, spun on his heel, and practically ran from the loft. 

He was halfway home before he slowed down enough to catch his breath and fully comprehend what he’d done. The horror of the reality had slammed into him like a freight train. Not only had he just made out with someone he barely knew, it was a Downworlder who had the ability to out him to his family, or worse, the Clave. Basically, Magnus Bane now had the power to destroy his life. 

And so he lied. He lied to Isabelle when she asked him about staying at Magnus’s. He lied when she said she was there for him if he had something he wanted to talk about. He knew that Izzy knew about him. They never talked about it, but she had known for a long time. Alec sighed, stood up from his bed, and began to strip off his clothes. He needed a shower. He needed to try to wash away the feel of Magnus, the smell of Magnus, the taste of Magnus. He had suppressed who he was for so many years now, he just needed to get Magnus Bane out of his head and everything would be okay. Magnus was just one man and it was just one kiss. How hard could it be, really?

**Author's Note:**

> Because of the nature of Alec and Magnus's interactions following S01E06 of Shadowhunters, I always felt something more happened that night than we, the audience, were told. 
> 
> While this FF is based entirely on the television series, I did take inspiration for the kiss itself from CC's "First Kiss" excerpt on her website.


End file.
